Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music.
When Mr Maxwell’s wife left him, he couldn’t sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.
Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. “I’ve just bought a pig,” said the first. “But where will you keep it?” said the second. “Your yard’s much too small for a pig!” “I’m going to keep it under my bed,” replied his friend. “But what about the smell?” “He’ll soon get used to […]
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. “What’s wrong?” asked his mother. “Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?” he sobbed. “In a way they do,” said his mother. “And when they die so they turn back to dust?” “Yes, they do.” The little boy began to cry again. […]
The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.
Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don’t feel well. Doctor: Don’t worry, you’ll just have to go to bed for a spell.
Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks.
Doctor, doctor, I’m having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it’s your bed. Oh, I’m all right at night, it’s in the day I have problems.
Monster: I’m so ugly. Ghost: It’s not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.
Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the worldWhat was I wearing ?
My boyfriend thinks I’m beautifulWell they do say that love is blind !
