Why shouldn’t you believe a person in bed?Because he is lying.

Why do you go to bed?Because the bed will not come to you.

Why are rivers lazy?Because they never get off their beds.

Sonny: I can’t sleep. What should I do?Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you’ll be sure to drop off!

Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed?Jane: I can’t answer. I didn’t know I was supposed to keep count!

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

Mother: Did you make your bed today?Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.

Why did the bed spread?Because it saw the pillow slip.

Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn’t been made up yet.