A wildlife biologist is working in the woods, miles from the nearest town. He’s camped alone with his dog and cat as his companions. Suddenly, an old gentleman carrying a small limp dog, franticly runs into his camp. “Please, please help me! I think something has happened to Willie. Our Winnebago is parked just around […]

A University had advertised for two biologists to help in their mammalogy department, specifically with a group of captive grizzly bears. They had only two applicants – a beautiful young women biologist and an older male biologist.The mammalogist in charge of the project knew that not everyone can handle working with such fierce creatures so […]

An 8th grade boy was doing some research for his career report at school. He asks his dad, “Father, how many wildlife biologists work for the Federal Government?””The honest father replies, “Oh, I would say at least half of ’em.”

Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on the ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the small town and spend a day or two resting up and drinking in the only bar in town. On one particular […]

A logger is driving down the highway and sees two botanists trying to measure the height of a small pine tree. Their tape measure is not long enough so one botanist stands on the shoulders of the other and attempts to extend the tape to the tree top but it is not long enough. While […]

Ben was assigned a new wildlife technician and she was driving him crazy. She was blonde and pretty and insisted on carrying beauty products in a little field bag – nail polish, hair care products, gels, creams and so on. One day they were driving the rugged four-wheel drive down a dirt road when a […]

Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds and to translate them into English. His latest research had proved that they can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked what could they possibly […]

A wildlife biologist crew leader has several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews camped and worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair every few days. One particular crew, Sarah and Jim, were not getting nearly as much work accomplished as the others, so he suspected that they […]

A pair of biologists are studying terns on a rock island just off the coast. While walking on a distant part of the island, they are shot at by a group of thugs operating a pot farm. This happens several times and the local law enforcement refuses to investigate.On their last day on the island […]

A young wildlife biologist got fired from his first real wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked him what happened.”You know what a crew boss is?” he asked. “The one who stands around and watches everyone else work.” “What’s that got to do with it?” they asked. “Well, he just got jealous of […]

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?Only one, but it takes eight million years.