Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely!Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum’s too frightened he’ll break it!
I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!
Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What’s the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won’t be empty-handed, will you!
I forgot my brother’s birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.
Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn’t 99 I’d be dead.
How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don’t think that’s possible. Oh, yes it is – I’m nine today.
Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday.
A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked. ‘It’s my birthday!’ he hollered. ‘And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there’s to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco […]
I’d like to say something nice about you as it’s your birthday. Why don’t you? Because I can’t think of a single thing to say!
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn’t you? Fred: I couldn’t find one big enough for your nose.
