Michael: It’s hard for my sister to eat.Maureen: Why ?Michael: She can’t bear to stop talking.

‘What’s your father’s occupation?’ asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.’He’s a conjurer, Ma’am,’ said the new boy.’How interesting. What’s his favourite trick?”He saws people in half.”Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?”One half brother and two half sisters.’

Did the bionic monster have a brother ?No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where’s your little brother ?Young Monster: Hee, hee ! He’s my half-brother now!

Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?Boy: Because he read the label, and it said ‘shake well before using.’

Dad: Don’t be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time.Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!

Little Brother: I’m going to buy a sea horse.Big Brother: Why?Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!

My brother’s one of the biggest stickup men in town.Gosh is he really?Yes, he’s a six-foot-six billposter.

Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars.Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa’s.

My brother’s just opened a shop.Really? How’s he doing?Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.