Policeman: Didn’t you hear my siren?Motorist: Sure, that’s why I sped up.
Policeman: Didn’t you hear me whistle at you?Woman Driver: Sure, but I don’t flirt when I drive.
Policeman: Did you realize you just missed that bus with your car?Motorist: Did you want me to hit it?
Policeman: Are you going to a fire?Motorist: No, I’m trying to prevent one. That’s what my boss said would happen if I were late again.
Police Officer: Why were you speeding?Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.
Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit?Motorist: I’m in a car pool.
Motorist: Does a deer have a horn?Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.
Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it’s covered with rustDealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn’t charge you for it, did we?
What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver? A schoolteacher says, “Spit out that toffee” and a train says, “Choo, choo.”
Why is it not safe to doze on trains? Because they run over sleepers.
