A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: “I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without […]

The train was about to pull out of the station. Swinging a large bag, a young man managed to reach the train, throw his bag in and climb aboard, gasping for air. seeking at him, another man said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by […]

Did you ever see a country boy in New York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers, “Taxi!”

Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train. “The next train is in one hour,” said the stationmaster. The three went back into the […]

Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred eighty pounds, was thrown from his seat when the Southern Railway train he was riding derailed. The giant teenager flew a dozen feet through the air before hitting headfirst against a steel partition. For a moment Dilmer lay dazed, rubbing his head. The conductor came by and kneeled down beside him. […]

A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly. “Why didn’t you let me know you were going to stop?” he yelled into the mist. “Why should I?” came a voice out of the fog. “I’m in my own garage!”

McAfee and Bracket were driving home after a big party. “Hey,” said McAfee, “be sure to watch out for that bridge that’s coming down the road toward us.” “What are you telling me to ‘watch out’ for?” asked Brackett. “You’re the one who’s driving!”

“Where’s the car?” asked Professor Delbert’s wife when he got home. “Did I take it out?” “Yes, you drove it to school this morning.” “I suppose you’re right, my dear. I remember now that after I got out, I turned to thank the man who gave me a lift and wondered where he’d gone.”

Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six – One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he […]

Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin’ mate !

Policeman: Why were you speeding?Motorist: I wasn’t going to miss seeing myself on “America’s Most Wanted.”

Policeman: Why were you speeding?Motorist: I was trying to get home before I ran out of gas.