A little kid is sitting on a park bench eating abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to say that if he continues to eat like that he won`t live very long; indignantly the kid says ” oh yeah my grandfather lived to be 104 years old” the old man replies “i’m sure […]

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. “How did that happen?, ” gasped her mother. “It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but three girls helped me catch him!”

Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. “Mama!” yelled the boy. “A gator jus’ bit off mah foot!” “Which one?” called his mother from inside the cabin. “How the hell should Ah know?!” he shrieked. “They all look alike to me!”

I had a funny dream last night, Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. “Hey kid,” he shouted. “Why don’t you go outside and play?”

Fred: Where does the new kid come from? Harry: Alaska. Fred: Don’t bother – I’ll ask her myself.

Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don’t think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he’ll be a rich man when you do.

“What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?” asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say “babies.” She was disappointed when all the children cried out, “Happy!”

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps? Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

Why was the lightning bug unhappy?Because her children were not very bright.

Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great for the children in her class. “What Mrs Smith needs,” said one of her colleagues, “is a herring-aid.”