Last year’s Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.That’s probably why the ocean’s full of currants!
Who made this Christmas pudding?Our chef. He’s a little green man who lives in a toadstool.What did he use to make it?Elf-raising flour, of course.
Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I’m turning into an orange!Have you tried playing squash?
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?A merry Christmas to ewe
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ?Best vicious of the season
I’ve had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas!Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!That’s all right….now it’s a mint with a hole!
Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!I’m on my way, Father Christmas.Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!That’s all right! There’s only one foot of snow!
A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.They must have had sharp ears!They were mountain-ears!
I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.’Have you passed?’ I asked.Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. ‘See for yourself!’ he called proudly. ‘No-el plates!’
One time Father Christmas lost his underpants.That’s how he got the name Saint Knickerless!
