That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!

Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows!

Pa’s being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it? Get me some film for my camera!

I’ve just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn’t that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

Is there big money in the cattle business?So I’ve herd!

In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York!

If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She’ll cream you!

If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!

If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get? Milk and quackers!

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? “Beeflt!”

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!

I hear you take milk baths. That’s right. Why? I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower!