What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos!

What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.

What is the golden rule for cows?Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!

What is the definition of “moon”? The past tense of “moo”!

What is the definition of “derange”? De place where de cowboys ride!

What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail!

What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!

What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!

What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!

What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round!

What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!