What’s so bad about being a dick?Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?Burger King didn’t cover his Whopper.
What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny’s batteries in backwards?He keeps coming and coming and coming…
What did the egg say to the boiling water?”It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night.”
What does KFC and a woman have in common?Once you’re done with the breasts and the thighs, there’s still a greasy box to put your bone in.
What is the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute?A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?They can both smell it but they can’t eat it.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?One says ribbit ribbit, the other one says rub-it, rub-it!
Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.
