Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks atAl, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100.00 billout the window right now and make one person very happy.”Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I couldthrow ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very […]
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a bigproblem, doctor.””Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets outthis earsplitting yell.” “My dear,” the doctor said, “that’s completelynatural.I don’t see what the problem is.””The problem is,” she complained, “it wakes me up!”
Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed, and things were going hot and heavy.”Slow down, baby,” she said. “Foreplay is an art.””You better get your canvas ready soon,” he panted, “because I’m about to spillmy paint!”
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands directly nextto the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating her snack cake. Thebarber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie.”She says, “I know. I’m gonna get boobs too.”
A man and woman are riding up in an elevator.The man looks at the woman and says, “Can I smell your pussy?”She replies, “Hell no!”The man says, “Well, it must be your feet then.”
Two elderly gentlemen, Sam and Harry, were having breakfast. Sam said to Harry,”Harry, why do you have a suppository in your ear?”Harry took the suppository out, looked it over and said, “Sam, I’m really gladyou saw this thing, now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stopdrinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught mehow to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, evenhow to invest in the stock market.””Sounds like you may be bitter because she […]
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of hisregular teacher.She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember ithas an “r” after the first letter.”The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.”A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets […]
Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from NewYork City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple atheaven’s door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God.After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten mostvirtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint […]
Harry approached a prostitute and asked, “How much for a blow job ?”.”Hundred Bucks”.”OK”, he said and began to jerk off.”What the hell are you doing that for?””For hundred bucks you don’t think I’m going to give you the easyone, do you ?”
During a funeral for a woman who had henpecked her husband, drove herkids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightestopportunity, and even made neurotics of their cat and dog with herexplosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor’s benediction was drowned out by a […]
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who waspretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, hefound out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive foundhimself unable to perform.On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the […]
