Wife: “Why don’t you ever callout my name when we’re making love?” ! Husband: “Because I don’t want to wake you.”

If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.

I love the lines men use to get us into bed. “Please, I’ll only put it in for a minute.” What am I, a microwave?

Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink?A: The grip.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don’t have balls to scratch.

Q: Why do women have tits?A: So men will talk to them.

Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn’t? A: Her navel.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman s nipples for? A: It’s Braille for ‘Suck here.’

Q: Why don’t men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.

Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.