Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. “Every time we make love,” she said, “I get splinters.” So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice. “Sandpaper,” said the carpenter. “That’s what you need.” So Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped […]
A woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from I knee pains. “Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?” asked the doctor. “Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style.” “I see,” said the doctor. “You know, there […]
A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn’t move. He finally brought the truck’ to a halt inches from […]
A male market researcher was calling on homes on behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door.”Do you use Vaseline?” asked the researcher. “Certainly,” she said. “It’s very good for cuts, grazes and burns.” “And what about anything else?” he asked. “Like what?” He became embarrassed. “Well, sex, maybe.” Oh, of course.” she said. “I […]
A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the boy stood on the balcony and reported on everything that […]
Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off?Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Whats the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years, the job still sucks.
Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.
Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she’s given her last blow job.
How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
