A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, “Judge, we want a divorce.” The judge says, “You’ve been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long?” The couple say in unison, “Well, we wanted to wait until the kids […]
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.He thought he was God, and I didn’t.
Question: Why is divorce so expensive?Answer: Because it’s worth it.
A hillbilly walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: “May I help you?” Hillbilly: “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces”. Attorney: “Well do you have any grounds?” Hillbilly: “Yea, I got about a hundred acres.” Attorney: “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?” Hillbilly: “No, I […]
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t […]
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other […]
Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, “How much is that new Barbie in the window?” The Manager replied, “Which one? We have Barbie […]
Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter “O.” “Why’d you put that circle down?” asked the clerk. “Cause Ah can’t write,” replied the girl. “Why don’t you sign with an ‘X’?” asked the man. “Ah used to,” she answered. “But when Ah got […]
Q: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The sockets all went with the house.
Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.
