How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just have a nursing assistant do it.As much as the doctor orders.
Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!
Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient’s best side.
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.”Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?” asks the doctor.”Oh, no,” replies the nurse, “I gave him eight tablets every two hours!”At the next bed the next patient also […]
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. “This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well.”
What’s the difference between a nurse and a nun? A nun only serves one God.
Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.
Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.The first nurse said, “I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.” St. Peter […]
Doctor: Did you take the patient’s temperature?Nurse: No. Is it missing?
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!Nurse: What is it?Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot of doctors, but that’s not important now!
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
