Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear?A. Because every time she got hot, he’d beat her with a shovel!
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world’s greatest basketball player?Bear Jordan.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard’s garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why ? Because that was the end of May!
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
One goldfish to his tankmate: “If there’s no God, who changes the water?”
