Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car?A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.He then asked, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff?”Nobody answered him.He then asked again, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff?”Again nobody answered.The old Indian said, “I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell […]
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. “And the Americans, they are so friendly!” he […]
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog […]
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we’re going to use your skins to build […]
A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver “What’s that building there?” “That’s the Royal York Hotel” replied the cabbie. “The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?” […]
A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. “When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,” she said.”Why, was he disappointed with the view?””No, he fell over the edge.”
Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.
Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it’s green and wrinkly.
A little boy came running into the kitchen. “Dad, dad,” he said, “there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face.””Tell him you’ve already got one,” said his father.
Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there’s nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don’t like them being pulled.
