Customer: Waiter, this food is repeating on me.Waiter: Good, we love repeat business.

Customer: Waiter, there’s a button in my salad.Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.

Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It’s nothing but skin and bones.Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?

Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup.Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.

Customer: Waiter, I can’t eat this meal.Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me.Customer: I don’t have a fork.

Customer: This fish isn’t as good as what I ordered here last month.Waiter: That’s funny. It’s from the same fish.

Customer: There’s something wrong with my hot dogs.Waiter: Sorry, I’m a waiter, not a veterinarian.

Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough.Waiter: That wasn’t the crust, that was the pie plate.

Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.

Customer: I didn’t order this.Waiter: I know, but your meal tastes worse.

Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?Waiter: Well, you know how slow turtles are.

Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn’t come in and closed you up?Waiter: They’re afraid to eat here.