What do you call an egg from outer space?An unidentified flying omelet!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: An Impasta.

Q: What did one strawberry say to the other?A:”Look at the jam you’ve gotten us into!”

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?One was “a-salted.”

What’s a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer.

What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek.

Would you like a duck egg for supper? Only if you quack it for me.

Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice? Why? Do I look like one?

Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. “If you’re watching your weight,” came one suggestion, “those diet frozen dinners are good.” The man then added: “But get two. They’re small.”

Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions?A: Tear gas.

WIFE: “You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?”HUSBAND: “No thanks. I’m too tired. Let’s just eat at home.”

WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.HUSBAND: Which is this?