Waiter: Why didn’t you make all the food on that long order?Cook: Because I’m a short order cook.
Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order?Diner: I can’t decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.
Waiter: I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon.Customer: What bait are you using?
Waiter: I’m sorry I spilled a glass of water on you.Diner: That’s all right. My suit is too large anyway.
Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back?Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife’s cooking.
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today.Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass?Waiter: It scares away the flies.
Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup?Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.
Patron: Hey, there’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn’t it cooked?
Patron: Didn’t you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe?Waiter: Yes, and that’s why they are the late heads of Europe.
Diner: Why are the waiters in here so nasty?Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.
