What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.

Why don’t ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.

When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul’s Day

What is a ghost’s favorite Wild West town?Tombstone.

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you’re spooken to.

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough.

Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue – you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.

A butler came running into his important master’s office. “Sir, sir, there’s a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?” Without looking up from his work the master said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.

Who said “Shiver me timbers!” on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew.