There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.An angel […]
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?”The man says, “Methodist.”St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Religion?””Baptist.””Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”A […]
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang.walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, “God,there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?”.God replied, “Just do what you normally do with that […]
Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3’4″, dirty, and you could […]
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.” […]
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They […]
This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says “No, […]
St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.”Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?” he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.”I was a good father,” he answers.”Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad […]
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is […]
Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I […]
Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. […]
A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that’s bad.Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? […]
