At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. He immediately began paying her court and flattering her. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when, after 30 minutes, he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she reacted. […]
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. “Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce”, the man said. The loan officer […]
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. […]
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the […]
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She […]
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door. “What are you doing?” the mother-in-law asked. “I am waiting for my husband to come home from work.” the daughter-in-law replied. “Why are you naked?” asked the […]
Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*… he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife […]
Coleman moved to Wyoming and was sitting in the unemployment office applying for a job. “Have you any experience in coal mining?” asked the clerk. “Yeah, in Pennsylvania,” he replied. “They’re using that new safety lamp down there now, aren’t they?” “Ah don’t know, mister,” said Coleman. “I worked on the day shift.”
Q: How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to sing, Ta da!
Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt?Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.
