Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them, they are going to invade Iran.

Carmella and Mario were out on their first date. “Have you ever read Shakespeare?” asked Carmella. “No,” said Mario. “Who wrote it?”

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate? By reading street signs.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket? Because the label said General Foods.

Then there was the Puerto Rican surgeon who made medical history. He performed the first appendix transplant.

Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?

Did you hear about the Mexican bricklayer who went crazy trying to lay a cornerstone in a roundhouse.

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.

Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake.

And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He’d tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch? They don’t want to have to retrain them.