Did you hear about the Montana moron who went looking for a gas leak with a safety match?
Did you hear about the Texan who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ level of both states?
“How come you’re only watering half your lawn?” a perplexed tourist asked a Richmond resident. “I just heard there was a fifty percent chance of rain.”
Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son’s shirts, so she had his name legally changed to “Machine Washable”?
Did you hear about the Georgia accountant who absconded with all the accounts payable?
Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?
“What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?” “He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.”
Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother? Archie: Sure did! He hadn’t heard a sound in years, and the very day after he took that medicine, he heard from America!
Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn’t make it so he swam back.
How do Filipinos count money? One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a, another-a …
Why can’t the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.
