Short bad funny jokes - Page 312

Judge jokes

At night court, a man was brou…

5 Aug , 2011  

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.”The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.”The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”

Judge jokes

A lawyer passed on and found h…

5 Aug , 2011  

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations.He complained to St. Peter, who told him that hisonly recourse was to appeal his assignment. Thelawyer immediately advised that he intended toappeal, but was then told that he would be waitingat least three years before his appeal could beheard. […]

Judge jokes

Judge: Is there any reason you…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.

Judge jokes

Judge to witness: “And where w…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge to witness: “And where was the location of the accident?”Witness: “Approximately milepost 499.”Judge:: “And where is milepost 499?”Witness: “About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500.”

Judge jokes

Mr. Schneider stood up in cour…

5 Aug , 2011  

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. “As God is my judge, I do not owe myex-wife any money.”Glaring down at him, the judge replied, “He’s not. I am. You do.”

Judge jokes

When asked for her occupation,…

5 Aug , 2011  

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation saidshe was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I havewaited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court,” he smiledwith delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass througha red light’ five hundred times.”

Judge jokes

How many judges does it take t…

5 Aug , 2011  

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him.Just one, but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

Judge jokes

Jury: Twelve men and women try…

5 Aug , 2011  

Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer.Justice: A decision in your favor.

Judge jokes

Judge: Doctor, how many autops…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are on dead people.

Judge jokes

Judge: What is your relationsh…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?A: She is my daughter.Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Judge jokes

Judge: You stated that the sta…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct?A: Yes.Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?

Judge jokes

Judge: Your first marriage was…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death?A: Yes, by death.Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?