A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney,feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle ofhundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied.”The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!””I don’t think so,” his attorney told him. “I sent it in the other lawyer’s name!”

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s caris total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,dirt and blood. He asks his friend,”What’s happened to your car?””Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”.”OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and […]

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?””It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?””That’s my business! Get me […]

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing atthe counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with heartsall over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all overthem.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding […]

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married,but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got toheaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them toget married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life,and they still desired wedded union. He thought about it […]

What is the proper weight for a lawyer?About 3 pounds, …….not counting the urn!

What’s the difference between a lawyer and atrampoline?You should take your workboots off beforeyou jump on a trampoline.

Why don’t lawyers play hide-and-seek?Nobody will look for them.

A local United Way office realized that it had neverreceived a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The personin charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.”Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000,you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to […]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […]