Two men are having an awfully slow round ofgolf because the two ladies in front of themmanaged to get into every sand trap, lake, andrough on the course, and they didn’t bother towave the men on through, which is proper golfetiquette.After two hours of waiting and waiting, one mansaid, “I think I’ll walk up there […]

Wife: “Do you think of me when you’re away darling?”Husband: “Yes honey, I always bare you in mind.”

A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. Shelooks surprised and says, I don’t have a headache!”He says, “Aha!”

“You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot incommon,” said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earthdid you get married?””I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract’,”was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.”

A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, “Don’t unleash the beast in me.”The wife snickered and replied, “Unlike a lot of women, ‘dear’, I’m not the least bit afraid of a mouse.”

A bum asks a man for $2.The man asked, “Will you buy booze?”The bum said, “No.”The man asked, “Will you gamble it away?”The bum said, “No.”Then the man asked, “Will you come home with me so my wife cansee what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?” […]

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. “When I die I will dig my way up and out […]

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefullyenjoying himself,when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of hishead with a hugefrying pan.Man: “What was that for?”Wife: “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the nameMarylou written onit?”Man: “Oh honey, remember two weeks ago […]

A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective, he wants both a written account and as many videos of her in any kind of compromising situations as the man can get.Two weeks later the detective calls the man and tells him he has all the […]

Not that my wife’s the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. […]

I’ve got trouble with the wife again – she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself. “You don’t have to let your wife bully you,” he said. “Go home and show her you’re the boss.” The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He wenthome, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, “From now on you’re […]