A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-linedating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck andhe said he’d quit — seems they’d matched him up with his wife.

A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his bestfriend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, “MyGod Pete !!! I more-or-less ‘have to’, but YOU ???”

I’ve never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. Mysecretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there itwas, on the back of a […]

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. “Oh Marie,” she said to her maid, “I have reason to suspect that my husband ishaving an affair with his secretary.””I don’t believe it for one minute !” Marie snapped.”You’re just saying that to make me jealous !!!”

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determinedto track down the father to extract revenge.”Was it my friend Sam”, he demanded.”No !” his weeping wife replied.”Was it my friend Jim then?” he asked.”NO !!!” she said even more upset.”Well […]

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you,what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long.

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which […]

A guy is dating three women and can’t decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in […]

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamedthat you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. Whatdo you think it means?””You’ll know tonight.” he said.That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it tohis wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled”The meaning of […]

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.

A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises frominside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floorof the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am havinga heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call thedoctor when one of his kids run up to him and […]

A man calls his family doctor:man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.doctor: Ok, bring her in and I’ll try to help.man: Fine, but whatever you do, don’t cure her.