How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?Both of them.

Now do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift? Exchange him.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don’t talk.

Why don’t men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?Dating children.

How are men like noodles?They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?A hot dog and a six pack.

What’s the difference between a man and E.T.?E.T. phoned home.

What’s a man idea of helping with the housework?Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.