Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?A: Women working at 900 numbers.

What is the difference between men and pigs?Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Question: How many men does it take to mop the floor?Answer: None, it’s a women’s job.

Men are like plungers.They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom

Men are like horoscopes.They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like department stores.Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like plastic wrap.Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.

Men are like old car tires.Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Men are like pillows.Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.

Men are like soap operas.They’re fun to watch, but don’t believe everything you hear.

Men are like road kill.They usually just lie around until they start to smell.