The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall […]

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes, man, I’ll […]

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when a PFC knocked on the door.Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the PFC to enter, then said into the phone, “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass […]

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft’s sewage holding tank.The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the […]

Q: What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR!

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. “Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys “Yours is.”

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. “What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?” asked the captain.”Throw out an anchor, sir.” replied the naval student.”What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?” asked the captain.”Throw out another anchor, sir.” […]

During the Mexican American War, an intense long standoff occurred along the front. For days and days neither side made any advances.Finally, an American general had a bright idea. He aimed his rifle to the Mexican trenches and yelled, “Hey, Juan!”A soldier jumped up and replied, “What?” The general shot him dead. This continued for […]

In the 1970’s, before women were allowed to sign up for combat duty, a man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man and was able to join the army.”But, wait a minute,” said one listener, “She’ll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won’t […]

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books.Rotated back home, […]

There were three American pilots captured by Germans in WWII. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and say, “Tick – Tock” over and over.After about three hours, the first pilot cracked and […]