A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back […]

A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. “I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you […]

– What do you think about the coming battle, General?- God knows it will be lost.- Then why should we go for it?- To find out who is the loser.

At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a private to throw a grenade at a pracitice training course. He ran about 10 yards away to be safe, and yelled the instructions.”Pull the pin, throw and hit the dirt!”The private proceeds to do so, and throws the explosive directly at the sergeant!A few months later, the […]

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous. Getting […]

Paddy ‘n’ Mick join the army, and are put on street patrol in a city with a military curfew. They are given instructions to shoot anybody who’s on the streets after 6 o’clock. So one day, they’re out at twenty to 6, when Paddy spots a man walking on the other side of the street. […]

– How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?- None. People that glow in the dark don’t need lights.

– How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb?- That is a military secret. If I told you I’d have to kill you.

– How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?- Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.”That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.””But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.The sergeant pulls a piece […]

We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat […]

Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.