Why did the monster go into hospital?To have his ghoul-stones removed.
MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.
What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?Lots of very worried dogs.
FIRST MONSTER: I’m going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh, are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes, I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends.
Why is the monsters’ football pitch wet?Because the players keep dribbling on it.
FRED: Your monster was making a terrible noise last night. BERT: Yes – ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing.
FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes.BERT MONSTER: That’s nothing. My sister’s tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she’s posted it.
What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?A budgerigrrrrr!
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can’t! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I’ll prove it.
How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye?When it comes out in conversation.
