Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he’d make it up to them on the next one.

Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: November.

Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One — but it’s an 8 hour minimum.

Q: How many UPM’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None! If you’d just make it a day exterior we wouldn’t be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!”

Q: How many 2nd AD’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Uh…standby, I’ll check on that.

Q: How many 1st AD’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Why are you asking me that question? Can’t you see I’m busy!

Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: WHAT?

Q: How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The bulbs IN and it’s staying IN!

Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Well, first let’s talk about the concept behind this whole “light bulb” thing.

Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: We don’t know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.

Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.