Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?A: Violists.
Q: Why are violas so large?A: It is an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large, just that the viola player’s heads are so small.
Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.
Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?A: Half a measure.
Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?A: Music Minus One.
Q: What is the range of a tuba?A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm.
Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?A: The doorbell shrieks!
Q: What’s the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
