Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
Q: What’s the only thing worse than a bagpiper?A: Good question. We’re still trying to find out too.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?A: To get away from the noise.
Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?A: So they don’t disgrace themselves in parades.
Q: What’s the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?A: A chainsaw can be tuned.
Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case.
Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch?A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.
Q: What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion?A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
Q: What’s the range of an accordion?A: Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm!
Q: What is the definition of an optimist?A: An accordion player with a pager.
