A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding.The officer asked, “Can you describe the person who did this to you?”The Irishman replied, “That’s what I was doing when he hit me.”

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.”I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.The guy replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a […]

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”The policeman said, “What’s he like?”Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.American : “In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police.”Russian : “In Russia we don’t require that you dial anything.”

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.”YOU’RE DRUNK!” exclaimed the police officer.”Thank God for that!” said the drunk, “I thought the steering had gone.”

Police Chief: As a recruit, you’ll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?New Recruit: Call for backup!

A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window… “Pull over!””No,” she shouts back, “a pair of socks!”

One day there was a woman who lost her cat named “LOVE.” It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very […]

This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the […]

A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia.”As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, […]

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?””No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the […]

A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.But it also lit up her arm, too!Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took […]