A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.”Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined.”You lawyers are so materialistic, you make […]

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, sir. You’re obviously drunk”The wasted wino asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?””Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”Obviously relieved, the […]

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see’s a car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!”So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old […]

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.The cop asked the farmer, “Didn’t you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?”The farmer replied, “No, I didn’t knowed that.”The cop ask the farmer where he was going and […]

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial — it went like this:Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.Q: Officer, who provided this description?A: The officer who responded to the […]

A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, “SPEED TRAP AHEAD”.The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted “TIPS” and a […]

A farmer who’s been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim.”I understand you’re claiming damages for the injuries you’re supposed to have suffered?” Stated the counsel for the insurance company.”Yes, that’s right,” replied the farmer, nodding his head.”You claim you were injured […]

This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.”You got any I.D.?” the patrolman asked.””‘Bout what?” the hillbilly replied.

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.A $40 speeding ticket was included.Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.The police responded with another mailed photo — of handcuffs.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks […]

The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.””Your Honor,” the criminal said, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen.”

Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop.One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment.The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.