Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothingseems to scare them away. Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the […]

While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member ofthe congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi,horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk toBernie.Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?”Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.””Oh, come on.” says the Rabbi.”YES!” says Bernie.Rabbi: […]

A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could.’God,’ he prayed, ‘I really want a car.’Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty.’God,’ he prayed again, ‘I really NEED a car.’Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his parents’ bedroom, and […]

Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses “I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days.” and Moses says “Yeah sure.” So Jesus gets up and says “I think I’ll walk on the water, that was always a good one.” So Jesus […]

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a headcovering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrivedwithout her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied toher head. The shocked priest says, “Madam, I […]

Q: What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?A: He sold his soul to Santa.

Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital),and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation wentwell and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he wasreassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.”Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gentlypatting his hand. “We do need […]

Paul says to Jesus, “Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?”Jesus says, “Just hanging around.”

Easter is approaching. Father O’Maley checks estimates for the flowerdecoration of the altar.The catholic florist – $ 300. “Too expensive” moans the priest.The protestant florist – $ 250, “No, it would not be right to buy atanother Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small.” But lo! Solly Goldberg – $ 75!!!Religion or […]

The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the Devil! Let him knowhow little you think of his evil!”The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his […]

The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.”Paddy,” he said, ” I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.””Really, Father?” slurred Paddy. “What have you done?”